Author: Paul Burri, RSA (page 1 of 3)

Dumb Questions, Smart-ass Answers

Let me ask you a dumb question. How many times have you heard someone say, “There’s no such thing as a dumb question.”? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m pretty sure that remark was originated by some third grade teacher who wanted to encourage her kids to ask questions. Nothing is worse for …more

The U.S. Toilet Paper Inventory

I just read an interesting statistic. The average US household uses 46 squares of toilet paper per person per day. Now based on the fact that the current US population is 313.9 million persons, that comes to about 14 billion squares per person per day – after adjusting downward for those persons who either use …more

What’s the Address?

Many years ago several years after I was discharged from the Army, I was a relatively new husband with a wife and a three-year-old daughter. At the time we lived in a modest house in California’s San Fernando Valley (a suburb of Los Angeles). My mother-in-law lived in Los Angeles near the Miracle Mile district …more

The Mysterious Missing Button

Many years ago when I was a single divorced man with few responsibilities and a fair amount of disposable income, (what a concept!) I came down with a severe case of something called covetismus automotibilus, commonly referred to as the “new car disease.” The first symptoms are an uncontrollable twitching of the eyes toward newer …more

List of words that need to be invented

Known as portmanteau words confunderant (con-fun’-der-ant)– a person who claims to be a consultant but only gives you confusing advice slitheriner (slith-er-in’-er– (rhymes with shiner) a person who sneaks in line ahead of you overacheater (o-ver-a-chee’-tor– a person who gets A’s but only by copying from others mortoperator (mor-top’-er-a-tor)– a guy who goes to funerals …more

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Call Me Old-fashioned, But…

I think it’s discourteous to answer your phone and talk to someone else while you and I are having coffee. I even think it’s discourteous to look at your phone while you and I are having coffee. I think it’s discourteous to be looking across the room while you’re being introduced to me and you’re …more

Warren Buffet and Squeezing the Toothpaste Tube

If you are like me, you will remember wishing when you were a kid that there was some way that you could send those nasty Brussels sprouts* to those millions of poor, starving Chinese children that your mother kept telling you about. Also, if you are like me, you remember when we used to fix …more

Chrome Plated Vegetables Part 2

I think I have invented a new hobby for myself. I call it “twerking” because I keep twerking various companies to see if I can get them to admit their weaknesses and failings. This past week or so I continued to twerk the help-with-your-invention companies. I decided that chrome plated vegetables wasn’t ludicrous enough so …more

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