If the woman’s profile or message doesn’t appeal to you, that’s fine — just be courteous. Thank her for writing and wish her the best. She will get the message that you are not interested. She may even think you are a stud for taking time to say “thank you” for writing. Responding is not a commitment for a lifetime relationship! At least you showed you are a gentleman with a sense of civility, and that’s pretty rare and sexy!

The other thing that is exasperating is when men DO reply, it’s with just one or two words that suggest he has no command of the English language or just doesn’t care. The obvious question is, why is he on the site if he isn’t ready to properly respond to messages? In all that you do, be a confident man and let women know it!


Men complain women lie about their age. They do, and men do it too. That said, age should NOT be an issue, especially later in life. Your age is just a number that tells how long you’ve been alive. It is NOT certification of your competence, health, cognition, sexiness or anything else. Even though the lifespan has increased by 30 years in the past century, and men and women are healthier and often stay attractive and viable longer, our horse and buggy culture still worships “the number” of a person as an inviolable measure of suitability for a partner.

Many men state that they are looking for a woman 10-15 or more years younger than they are. A woman thinks, “If a man is 75 now and I’m 60, I’ll still be young when he is old and feeble — or dead.” Or, an old guy doesn’t realize how unattractive he has become. (Remember we make three-second decisions when meeting or seeing someone!) The bottom line is, get over “age anxiety” because your concern about a woman’s age being more years than you would like may cause you to lose the best love of your life. Remember that statistically, women live longer than men.


And then there is SEX. It has become a norm for men (and often, for women) to expect casual sex sooner than later. For many men, sex is what makes their world go round and their reason for living and they want assurance that a woman will be “on board” as early in the game as possible — like tonight. You barely know each other? So what. After all, it’s just sex. Or, is there more to sex than sex?

If a woman tells you she doesn’t want to have sex with you until you both are in love and agree to a monogamous committed relationship, celebrate it! It has nothing to do with old-fashioned, outdated virtue. She is not being a prude. She is just being smart. She may be free of infection, but how about you? It may take time for the truth to surface and when it does, it can be nasty. The number of hard-to-cure STDs is through the roof and growing, even for “old” people. Consider these headlines from news stories: “Seniors having sex leads to a spike in sexually transmitted diseases” and ” Seniors’ sex lives are up — and so are STD rates”.

Because pregnancy is no longer a concern, men don’t want to use a condom. Or, they mistakenly think a condom will prevent disease. Jumping into bed with every willing female is putting your (and her) health in jeopardy. Syphilis had been under control but is now back and raging. Gonorrhea lesions, now found in more places of the body, especially in the mouth, is becoming more resistant to antibiotics.

Tragically, men or women, who know (or suspect) they are infected often fail to reveal it to a partner. Bulletins from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control are very clear about all of this.

So pause and take a breath before you get bent out of shape if a woman says sex can wait. If you like each other and wait until you have gotten to know and trust each other and have discussed the possibility of disease and perhaps are willing to be tested, both can enter into a relationship at peace and with a clear conscience. Yes, that’s unrealistic advice for today in our super sexualized culture, but don’t say you didn’t know about the seriousness of the situation. Thinking “It won’t happen to me” is about as stupid as it gets.

Religious and Political Preferences

This can be a biggie, but it doesn’t have to be. If religion is important to you and you meet and like someone with a different religion, each of you will have to decide if it is an issue and if it is, decide how to deal with it. Political differences are even more tricky. Some men hate Trump so much they can’t stand a woman who has a political preference different from his. Don’t argue about sex, religion or politics. Don’t try to change anyone’s thinking or behavior! If you can’t settle things amicably, move on. At this stage of life, it’s crazy to argue about things you cannot change. Let it go. Looking for love is like waiting for transportation. The next bus will be arriving shortly.


Unless you are willing to travel, and most older men are not willing (or able) to travel even short distances, don’t start a conversation with a woman who lives farther away than a distance you are willing or able to drive to. It’s not smart to develop a fantasy phone or email relationship that can’t possibly go anyplace except to Heart Break Hotel. If you still drive and are REALLY willing to drive a distance, make it known in your profile. Bottom line: don’t waste your time or a woman’s time. It’s not fair to her or to yourself.

I hope all of this has been helpful. Have a successful and safe online journey as you look for the best love of your life.

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