Them – “That’s proprietary information and I can’t tell you unless you sign up with us.”

Them – “Have you been successful doing this for your clients? Getting them on page one or two?”

Them – “Absolutely.”

Me – “By the way, what page are you guys on?”

He hung up.

Another fun day of twerking.

A few days later, I got a return call from the “help-with-your-invention” company about my idea for a pill that would bring dead pets back to life. Their advisor wanted to know more about my idea. (Clearly he hadn’t read my description.) He wanted to know what progress we had made with the idea so far.

I told him, “We have successfully completed Phase 1 and Phase 2 of our development plan and were now working on Phase 3.

In Phase 1, we successfully developed a pill that made live pets, dead.

In Phase 2 we successfully developed a pill that had no effect whatsoever on the pets we had tested.

Now we are working on Phase 3 to develop a pill to bring dead pets back to life.”

The fact that Phase 1 actually killed pets and Phase 2 had absolutely no affect at all, didn’t seem to be strange to him at all.

He asked, “Have you been successful at bringing any pets back to life?”

I said, “No, not yet.”

He said, “That would be a miracle if you could do that.”

And I said, “Yeah, that’s what everybody says.”

Then I hung up.

Click to read Part 1 of Chrome Plated Vegetables.