It’s important to create space for the “we” of the relationship which will help you move from polar opposite positions toward an opportunity for problem solving and compromise for the sake of the relationship. Staying stuck in positions fosters a win vs lose dynamic which can lead to resentments.

Try to think of a win: win paradigm—in which some of what you both want and need is respected. If you find yourself at an impasse, it’s often helpful to agree to come back to the conversation later, when you’ve each had time to think about what your partner has been saying. In addition, if you can’t get past the impasse, consider talking with a coach or therapist who may be able to help you understand where you get “stuck” in the conversation and help you find alternative ways to deal with the differences.

We have the gift of 20, 30 or more “bonus years” past the traditional retirement age of 62 or 65. Embrace these years and find ways to live more consciously and intentionally in this next stage of life. Open to new possibilities and new ways to connect with your partner. Remember, what’s most important is to think about what you want to retire to.