As a child of the ‘50s, it was doubly difficult for me to comprehend the ‘gobbledy-gook spoken by spotty, teenage, fast-talking, sales- people working within Apple or Virgin stores – am I really so conversant with the communication infrastructure, that I can readily decipher ‘language’ that oozes with i-Phone-toting diatribe, social networking dialogue and Twitter hash-tags, in order to conveniently channel my communicative intentions, during any given moment of the day, this as I aimlessly chronicle my ‘Ecstasy-fuelled’ nights at whatever chosen club via instant mobile uploads (or “muploads” as I was enthusiastically informed). Nope!!!

That goes too for the additional bonus on offer, (should I make an immediate purchase) I would be entitled to minute-by-minute location updates on the local neighbourhood predator/paedophile – Good Lord – where have I been over the last few years?

During our journey back home that evening, I mused positively on the things I have not yet retired from – and the welcome detachment that my wife and I benefit from, thus; being well divorced from the commercially sordid and unscrupulous retail realities of the 21st Century – hell, there is so much to do and yet to enjoy, and I don’t need any state-of-the-art Android to tell me that!

Furthermore, nobody shall need reminding that our working years stole the most productive hours of our day, and left us, physically, mentally, and emotionally arid. After a day’s hard graft, I would take one tired look at my exhausted wife, and at another pile of laundry, and then, {metaphorically-speaking) ‘fold.’

It doesn’t take a medical degree to establish that work kills romance too – nowadays however, retirement has brought with it a natural Viagra.

So what did I positively derive from my recent analysis overall?

In the interests of our intended longevity, we sometimes may have to forget what’s gone and somehow, try to appreciate what’s still there – and then gleefully look forward to what’s coming next, in my case, and on this very dank and windy May evening, it’s a candlelit (Anniversary) dinner, coupled with a glass or two of exquisite Merlot to accompany our mouth-watering repast – and then, so to bed

But readers may be assured to learn, that during our adult nocturnal activity this evening, neither my wife or I, shall be exposed to the nauseating culinary, pharmaceutical, musical, sartorial and electronic claims of either McDonalds, sex-enhancement manufacturers, foul-mouthed Rap ‘Artists, Gucci underwear outlets, T-Shirt peddlers, hand-held computer vendors or mobile phone distributors – there are still some things alive to us all – where 21st Century commercialism has no place for we retirees…and thank God for that!!!

Happy retirement!