How to find your perfect roommate when sharing your home

Other Things to Consider

There are other nuances to consider…but these usually aren’t deal-breakers. Here are a few to consider:

Age Differences make a difference. Mother Nature has taught us that different age groups have different lifestyles. I recommend that you look at roommates that are within ten years of your age, and that you don’t go beyond twenty years on either side. With too much of a difference, you will notice the age nuances and it will frustrate you!

My favorite story is about the delightful woman who moved into my home after a divorce. She was 35 and she was divorcing because she wanted a child and her husband did not. Guess what? She was pregnant within three months!

Cleanliness factors. Most women are accustomed to housework and will keep a place in good shape. Some women, however, really need things to be back in their places immediately, every spot wiped off of the counter, and the floor swept daily. If this is you, find someone like you. If this is not you, same advice.

Once, I had a woman who cleaned in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep. She rearranged my kitchen drawers, threw away things that she thought were unnecessary, and picked up after me. I prefer the “slightly lived-in look” and we parted quickly.

Can you get along with her/his personality? Are you fairly assertive and outgoing? Are you quiet and bookish? How would you assess the personality of a potential roommate? Can you sense anger beneath the surface? How would you assess the “honesty factor”?

Interviewing a potential roommate is a lot like a job interview. They will tell you what you want to hear. It is your job to listen and hear danger signals.

A woman who was interviewing once told me that she needed to move right away because her boyfriend had hit her. Of course, I skipped the due diligence and took her in right away. A month later, I found out that there had been no boyfriend and she had a very bad credit report. I learned over time that she was a habitual liar.

Another woman told me that she was breaking a lease and laughed about it. Five months later, she did the same thing to me.

I had two women who were charming during the interview phase. When they moved in, they were both quarrelsome and constantly angry about something.

Practice your interviewing process. Trust your intuition. Selecting a GOOD roommate takes patience, but it can be done. You also learn a great deal about yourself and you learn to develop assertiveness!

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Bonnie Moore

Bonnie Moore is the President and Founder of Golden Girls Network, an electronic matching service for active mature adults who are interested in shared housing. She has over six years’ experience sharing her home as a Golden Girl, which led her to writing a book, “How to Start a Golden Girls Home.” Ms. Moore is 69 years old and has recently retired as a management consultant. She has expertise in accounting and financial management. She graduated from Golden Gate University Law School in San Francisco, California and Weber State University in Ogden, Utah. She passed the California Bar exam when she was 50 years old. Please check out her Golden Girls Network site. You can also reach her by email.

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