In no particular order, I present some rules which must be made early. They keep everyone happy—at least most of the time. Did we have all these in place beforehand? No. These are the result of our learning curve.
Set down ground rules everyone agrees to. Put them in writing and have all parties sign.
Decide who is responsible for what
Resolve possible parking problems in multi-vehicle households
Who pays which bills?
Who maintains what and how?
How will major repairs / maintenance be paid?
Do you want a household account everyone contributes to regularly for maintenance and / or bills?
Who washes the windows?
Discuss sharing of backyard: family / solitary use, or entertainment use
Who cuts the grass, shovels snow, puts in or maintains a garden?
Have an exit plan. Be prepared should the unthinkable happen.
If something isn’t working, have a monthly meeting on the calendar to air your differences. Can be skipped if no problems are brewing.
Never call a meeting in the heat of the moment. Check the calendar for next scheduled date.
Take minutes. No-one can argue who agreed / disagreed to what. It’s in writing.
Our two most daunting difficulties have been around parking and unequal heat / air condition distribution between the basement and the main floor.
One last gem I learned from our experiences: it is much easier to start out with tight rules and loosen them, than to tighten loose ones.
Teresa Karlinski lives in a multigenerational household in Stoney Creek, Ontario with her cat, Lady Gaga. She is a grandmother and a student of life with a passion for cooking. The charity used-book store where she volunteers is a constant source of temptation. Although retired, she’s annoyed she can’t keep up with her overwhelming collection of unread books. Daily life consists of writing, reading, blogging and looking after her two grandchildren. Her stories have appeared in online Perspectives and Twisted Endings magazines; in an anthology, Finding the Path, and Time and Place Magazine.
You can check out Teresa's blog. You can also reach her by email.
It appears that your relationship with you son in law is not ideal. Was your relationship better before you decided to move into the same house?
It had been good before and after. I had to learn to zip my lip because we lived so close. We've come a long way in six years. Multigenerational living is like having a new roomie except you're sharing the same house not the same space.
Good and informative article that is sure to help others with decisions before the fact.
Wow, what a learning curve for you all. Even though there seem to be some unresolved problems with parking and heating, I say well done! I can only begin to imagine the challenges you have faced.
Alison
View Comments
It appears that your relationship with you son in law is not ideal. Was your relationship better before you decided to move into the same house?
It had been good before and after. I had to learn to zip my lip because we lived so close. We've come a long way in six years. Multigenerational living is like having a new roomie except you're sharing the same house not the same space.
Good and informative article that is sure to help others with decisions before the fact.
Wow, what a learning curve for you all. Even though there seem to be some unresolved problems with parking and heating, I say well done! I can only begin to imagine the challenges you have faced.
Alison