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The (Torture) Rack

Saturday, October 12th, 2013   1:24 pm |  Category:   Health, Hobbies/Sports, Humor   |   Add Comment  
Author:     posts:  4    Author's   bio

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  1. Consult instruction manual because attaching the bike is not as easy as it first appears to be.
  2.  

  3. Attach the man’s bike to the rack.
  4.  

  5. Marvel at your success and give thanks that you are almost done.
  6.  

  7. Attempt to attach the woman’s bike to the rack.
  8.  

  9. Remove the man’s bike from the rack because you think it is interfering with your ability to attach the woman’s bike.
  10.  

  11. Turn the woman’s bike in every direction possible as you try to attach it. Be careful not to get tangled in the brake cables or jam a handlebar into your ear.
  12.  

  13. Come to the realization that there is no way to attach the woman’s bike because of its configuration.
  14.  

  15. Google how to attach a woman’s bike and learn that you need a special adapter which you do not have.
  16.  

  17. Break the news to your sweat-covered spouse/friend who is desperately trying to make the woman’s bike fit onto the rack.
  18.  

  19. Relegate yourself to the idea that you have to go buy a $50 adapter because we live in a male dominated society.
  20.  

  21. Drive to bike shop to purchase adapter.
  22.  

  23. Celebrate the fact that the bike rack, albeit empty, remained affixed to the car for the duration of the trip to and from the bike shop.
  24.  

  25. Reattach the man’s bike to the rack.
  26.  

  27. Place adapter on woman’s bike then attach it to the rack.
  28.  

  29. Step back to admire what you were able to accomplish with hard work, persistence and college degrees.
  30.  

  31. Notice that the front tire of the woman’s bike is dangerously close to the ground.
  32.  

  33. Remove the woman’s bike from the rack.
  34.  

  35. Remove the front tire of the woman’s bike. NOTE: Don’t forget to place the front tire inside the car or all of this work will have been for nothing when you reach your destination.
  36.  

  37. Re-attach the woman’s bike to the rack. You should be really good at this by now.
  38.  

  39. Back out of the driveway to embark on your bike riding adventure.
  40.  

  41. Pull back into the driveway when you feel the front tire of the man’s bike brush against the road.
  42.  

  43. Remove the woman’s bike from the rack to gain access to the man’s bike.
  44.  

  45. Remove the man’s bike from the rack then remove its front tire. (See note at step 38.)
  46.  

  47. Re-attach the man’s bike to the rack. By now, you’re a pro at this. Practice makes perfect.
  48.  

  49. Re-attach the woman’s bike to the rack.
  50.  

  51. Forget how sweaty, exhausted and cranky you are and hit the bike trails for some exercise.

 

 

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