Retirement and Good Living

 Finance, Health, Retirement Locations, Volunteering and more...
Retirement And Good Living  
 
Follow us on Twitter at RetirementSite

 

Like us on Facebook at Retirementsite
Previous Post: Next Post:

Semi-Colon

Thursday, February 18th, 2016   10:00 am |  Category:   Health, Humor, Life   |   1 Comment  
Author:     posts:  2    Author's   bio

Share this post/page...FacebookTwitterGoogle+LinkedInEmail   

 

Carefully, I arrived at the clinic. They were ready for me and gave me an attractive three-sided hospital gown to wear, telling me I could keep my socks on. They did some medical prep stuff and I was wheeled into the operating room.

 

The doc and I got off on the wrong foot right away. The room looked more like a bay at a car repair shop than something out of a TV doctor show. I said the room was disappointing and I think that hurt the doctor’s feelings. The highlight was a giant television screen where we could all watch the proceedings like it was the Stanley Cup finals in a sports bar.

 

The nurse stepped into view. She was wearing the same rubber outfit and goggles as the man who fumigated my room that day in Cancun.

 

I will spare you the details of what happened next. The three of us got to watch it on the Jumbotron and I found out what “you might feel some slight discomfort” really means. Other than that, my only revelation is discovering how pink I am inside.

 

I’m not being a good patient. All this is pretty mortifying and, at one point I think I feel the camera poking at the bottom of my stomach. Then something incredible happens.

 

Remember that scene in Alien where the baby monster rips out of John Hurt’s stomach? It was repeated for laughs in Spaceballs. Well, I start to think about that scene, both actually, and I get the giggles. I am pretty sure none of the medical staff had ever seen anyone laugh in that situation before. They are not amused.

 

Soon I am back in my recovery bed, sipping juice and eating a cookie, the first solid food in 36 hours. Down the hallway, I hear the nurses talking. “He was laughing,” one said. “Laughed all the way through it.” I suppose everyone has a purpose in life, even if that purpose is to give people something to talk about at coffee break.

 

I left with a printout report of my adventure, complete with souvenir photos. Not suitable for framing. My advice: when they ask you if you want the sedation, ask for a double.

 

 

Continue reading this post: previous page. . .
Check out other similar posts in the Health, Humor, Life category.

One Comment
  1. Limbi G. Dec 3rd 2016  10:10 pm

    Dear Don, I must Thank You for making me laugh, You are hilarious !
    If I ever have to go to a colonoscopy, I will definitely remember your article and follow your Double dose advise ! Ha ha haaa :D

    Thank You again, and Keep laughing!

    Limbi :)


If you would like to leave a comment please use the form below.

Comment:

Please enter the anti-spam code below (required):
*


Please subscribe to our newsletter for the latest posts, news and more
 
About  · Blog  · Contact Us  · Terms of Service


copyright © 2016 by MSI - powered by WordPress